Do you get to do what you do best? This question is the key predictive indicator of engagement, according to management expert Marcus Buckingham, and a significant predictor of productivity, performance, teamwork, communication, confidence, growth (leadership and financial), and almost every other meaningful metric inside of organizations.[1] Sadly, only 20% of people strongly agree with this question. Consider the ramifications of that in your organization! Perhaps this is a key cause of poor productivity, communication, teams’ inability to trust one another or work well together.

Logically, the first place you might look to rectify this is to provide individuals with a chance to learn what their strengths are to begin with, so they can identify where their potential contributions lie. But what happens when you take a strengths assessment, and come back with five new words that describe you—words like Context, Empathy, Maximizer, Relator, or Deliberative. These are great strengths, but how does someone understand how their strengths actually show up in real life? How do we come to transfer this knowledge into meaningful action and real results within our present role? THAT is the million dollar question!

This question and the need for individuals to see their strengths within the context of their day-to-day activities led to the creation of a tool which is designed to measure the use of strength, and not just provide names and descriptions of strengths. It goes beyond the StrengthsFinder 2.0, DiSC, or Myers-Briggs (or other strengths instruments) to look at one’s activities as they reflect the use of their strengths.

The Strengths Effectiveness and Engagement (SEE) Assessment provides an at-a-glance view of where individuals are performing from Strength—and where they are not. The SEE report includes a scatterplot diagram of their activities, showing which activities demonstrate both high performance and high energy (Strength), high performance and low energy (Competence), low performance and low energy (Weakness), and low performance and high energy (Affinity).

The premise behind the instrument is that living from Strength is about experiencing both high performance and high energy in any given activity.[2] It is different from Competence, which is merely concerned with performance. A person might have knowledge, skill, and even talent, which allows them to perform competently–but without passion and energy, ongoing time spent in Competence may lead to burn-out, and declining performance. It is also true that time spent focusing on weaknesses leads to a 28% reduction in performance[3]—not to mention the impact on engagement and productivity that results from completing activities where both performance and energy are low.

The SEE Assessment is an important self-awareness tool, to help individuals proactively shape their role toward increasing their time in strengths.[4] It also provides a valuable development gauge, to help individuals determine where potential strengths might be grown, and how to bring existing strengths to activities where energy or performance might be improved.

Where are you playing strong in your life? Which activities are merely activities which reflect your Competence, but actually drain your energy? Where are you trapped in Weakness-driven activities? What can you do to spend more time in your A+ Zone?

“If only Bob would communicate more effectively THEN I could do my work more effectively.”

“If only I had more resources, THEN…”

“If only THEY would…”

Sound familiar? We all have our own version of this handy little “if-only” phrase—mostly to keep us from taking personal responsibility for what we do have the ability to influence. It is so much easier to identify why we are not moving forward because of some factor outside of ourselves, than to look inward and find what we do have to leverage (our strengths) and what we might need to examine (our weaknesses).

I have a news flash for you!  The only“if-only” that is going to get you somewhere is when the “if” is about you and your own behavior and thought processes.  It is an inside-out process to influence change around us.

Consider this idea: there are 4 levels of leadership in any organization, each which requires some action or development[1]—

• At the Personal level, you must become Confidently Vulnerable in both your strengths/weaknesses—this means you understand and accept both your strengths and weaknesses, without arrogance or judgment.
• At the Interpersonal level, you must build relationships of trust (based on an open understanding of strengths and weakness—of both yourself and others).
• At the Team level, Interdependence must be created—where there is confident contribution from strengths, and humble leaning into others’ strengths to mitigate weakness.
• At the Organization level, great results are produced as individuals and teams increasingly operate from Confident Vulnerability, trust, and Interdependence.

Most people want to be part of an organization that is really winning, that produces great results, that is going somewhere, doing something really special. But can you have an organization that produces remarkable results if your teams are not working well together? Is it possible for teams to work well together if the interpersonal relationships within the team are not trusting?

Where does it all begin?

It starts with you and I, looking ourselves in the mirror, and being honest about who we really are, what we are bringing, and where we are not so strong and where we may need to allow others’ strengths to complement us.  It is getting comfortable in our own skin—enough that we can stop pretending to be something we are not.  That makes us more authentic, more genuine, more credible. It helps us create more trusting relationships with others, and also gives them permission to reciprocate. It is from this foundation that teams and organizations really begin to create the results that are possible.

When we are stuck we often feel mired, overwhelmed by the gap that exists between where we are and where we want to be. The truth is, however, that most of us have experienced interdependence at some point in our lives—even if it was momentary. This means that the answer to getting unstuck is already somehow inside of us. It may even be a very short walk to getting to Interdependence! We know—or we knew at one point how to be in Interdependence with others. In that situation where we had success with Interdependence, we had confidence in who we were, what we had to bring, and how we could contribute to make a difference. We were also comfortable enough to rely on others around us, to cover our backs, to help us where we were less strong—we were willing to be vulnerable.

Now, if you dislike the word vulnerability, or the idea that accompanies it, join the troops! That word is scary. Yet it is a surprising distinguishing factor of those who thrive, those who live at sustained Interdependence.

Brene Brown spent nearly 10 years looking for the discriminating factors that separated those who thrived in creating strong, effective, sustained relationships (Interdependence!), and those who repeatedly failed. After thousands of interviews, and pages and pages of data were reviewed, she reported finding only one significant variable that occurred in every situation:  vulnerability[1].

When one takes a close look at vulnerability, what it means, and what it needs in order to be of service, there is an interesting observation. Vulnerability, by itself, can actually look an awful lot like Dependence. It has the connotation of appearing needy, demanding, insecure, weak, powerless, or uncertain. We find ourselves experiencing a deep aversion to these things, thus avoiding vulnerability altogether, or the appearance of vulnerability.

But what if vulnerability were paired with confidence? 

Over the years, as I have worked with thousands of individuals and organizations, an interesting discovery emerged. The strongest leaders were not just vulnerable—they were confidently vulnerable. They understood who they were, what they could contribute, and how they could make a difference in others’ lives. They also understood what they were not, what they needed, and they strategically leveraged their own and others’ strengths to mitigate their weakness. This gave them the confidence to be vulnerable, to be open to others and allow them the chance to shine.

Ironically, their confident vulnerability, their willingness to contribute what they had to bring, and declare where they were not as strong, and ask for help, gave others room to contribute their strengths and built up the confidence of others. As others around them became more confident in their own contribution, those same individuals also found the courage to be vulnerable, to share both their strengths and their weakness, and to rely on others to help them be more effective. Thus, confident vulnerability produced confident vulnerability, and accelerated the journey toward Interdependence.

Consider this:

When Confidence is high and Vulnerability is low there is a tendency toward Independence—siloism, even sometimes arrogance. There is an unwillingness to see and hear others’ perspectives, or to consider one’s one blind spots.

If Vulnerability is high and Confidence is low, this can place us at Dependence, leaving us needy, exposed, insecure, struggling, and uncertain.

If both Confidence and Vulnerability are low, this often leads individuals to the transactional experiences associated with Codependence, and they feel stuck in an association which is not very satisfying.

If, however, individuals are able to be both Confident and Vulnerable—they know what they are, they know what they’re not—they are then able to operate from Interdependence. 

Interdependence is where our greatest results come. It is the place of our deepest sense of fulfillment, because we really know that we are bringing something that matters. We also know that others have our backs—that even with our weaknesses, we are okay, valuable, and we don’t have to be in fear of judgment.

For most of us, this is the deepest desire of our hearts. And we are only one confidently vulnerable step away from getting there.

There is something that happens to us as our maturity deepens—we find an increasing desire to make a meaningful contribution in some special way. Gallup’s research validates that: “The best employees want to matter. They want to be part of something greater than themselves, and they want to know that they contribute to something.[1]” What we don’t always quite know is how to do so, and what enhances, or gets in our way.

Figure 1: Expanding Contribution

Our capacity for contribution (shown here by ever expanding arcs) is a function of two very critical things:

Knowing—implies having the understanding, information, and insight necessary to act in win-win ways to both you and others. It involves self-awareness, understanding of others, and a deep acumen in the area where your strengths best position you to make a difference.

Doing—is the capacity to wisely use the knowledge you have in order to make a meaningful impact, which serves both you and others. It implies proficiency in applying one’s strengths in service of something bigger than self [see Figure 1: Expanding Contribution].

Principles of Expanding Contribution

How we see our strengths and feel about our weaknesses directly impacts our ability to access the different kinds of knowledge which we are increasingly able to retrieve as we mature (see Figure 2: Principles of Expanding Contribution). It deeply effects both Knowing and Doing—in fact, it has the potential to minimize or expand both, and thus, to diminish or increase the reach of our contribution.

Figure 2: Principles of Expanding Contribution

It is important to note that we cannot expand our contribution, and access deeper kinds of knowledge without honoring the principles that are associated with, and precede them. For example, seeing and applying strengths is a foundational principle, which expands one’s capacity for Conscious Knowing and contribution through applying that knowledge. It is also a foundational principle upon which embracing weakness and honoring others’ strengths and weaknesses rests. It seems that there is an unspoken law of the universe that suggests that as we live foundational  principles, we are then better prepared to live the higher principles. Algebra comes before calculus.

Let’s see how this works with respect to our ability to increasingly make meaningful contribution.

Conscious Knowing

Conscious Knowing is what most of us consider as our knowledge base. In a nutshell, it is that knowledge that we are aware that we have—we simply know that we know. This may include facts, ideas, data, vocabulary, and information about ourselves, others, the world around us, and the way it works. As we increasingly see and apply strengths we are able to learn better and faster, mitigate weaknesses which may interfere with contribution or learning, and challenge our own limits, so that our ability to learn and contribute is exponentially increased.

Unconscious Knowing

There is a level of intuition, of instinctive insight that lies outside the realm of what we consciously know that we know. We call this Unconscious Knowing—what we unthinkingly and innately know, of which we are not aware. This includes ideas, skills, strategies, understanding of our self, others, or the world that comes to us with ease and a sixth-sense kind of sensitivity. We may find ourselves offering a brilliant answer, or responding magnificently to someone’s need or a situation without having any premeditated idea about how to approach the situation. We suddenly just seemed to know exactly what to do.

Notice that as we see and apply our strengths (which deepens our Conscious Knowing) we are also more readily able to honor the higher principle associated with reaching into our Unconscious Knowing: that of embracing weaknesses. As we understand and embrace our weakness, the anxiety that prevents us from accessing our instinctual knowing is inadvertently eliminated. It means that we hold our strengths with a quiet and humble confidence, along with nonjudgmentally examining and addressing our weaknesses—in other words, we know what we are, and we know what we are not, and both are okay. This approach keeps us from becoming trapped by the fear of our weakness which has the potential to shut us down and minimize our ability to perform with effectiveness.

Universal Knowing

In a world that is so preoccupied with independent achievement, we often miss the remarkable information available to us at the infinite level of knowing which might be called Universal Knowing. This level of knowing includes the information, ideas, perspectives, and possibilities that are all around us, only accessible with and through others. It is endless and unbounded in its reach. When we tap into Universal Knowing, we are calling upon the strengths of others, who see things completely differently than we do. It gives us access to other perspectives we are not able to intuitively retrieve through our own power.

Universal Knowing is available to us, only as we get to the point of really appreciating and honoring both the strengths and weaknesses of others. The idea of honoring others’ weaknesses may seem like a strange one, yet, “As we function from a place of Interdependence, there comes a shared understanding that potentially one’s weaknesses could be someone else’s job description,” (Christy Strauch). We stop fearing or judging their presence and our only desire is to find a way for everyone to be their most effective and capable self—for the sake of the contribution we individually and collectively are making to the world .

There is a way that both strengths and weaknesses open the door for us to be serving one another and helping each other to be maximally effective—particularly as our minds are focused on contribution to others, rather than on ourselves. The humility associated with our weaknesses removes judgment, so that we might design complementary relationships which mitigate the effects of weakness. As we celebrate others’ strengths and stop judging their weaknesses, our willingness to experience Interdependence increases. Everyone is more able to access all three levels of learning as this happens—and our contributions, individually and collectively, expand exponentially.

I have a newsflash for you, which may not be a surprise to you. Are you ready? Here it is: your biggest strengths can also be your biggest weaknesses if you are unaware! Imagine that? The very gifts you have been given, to use as tools to help you survive and thrive, the very strengths you have that allow you to positively impact others, can also act to your detriment. Knowing this, and knowing how it is true for you, can bring about a powerful transformation, which allows you to selectively use your strengths in ways that serve you, rather than hurt you.

Take my client, Emily (not her real name) for example—a gifted director of a large division of a highly profitable company. Emily has the remarkable strength which Gallup calls Empathy. She is very attuned to the needs of others, and can feel what others feel—but often, she is unable to turn it off. She is a veritable human barometer, tuned to all the hurt and pain around her, and can often become sad and frustrated very easily. Those feelings can create anxiety and trigger her strength of Responsibility, leaving her to take ownership for every problem that comes her way, and leave her working way harder to solve the problems of her direct reports—harder than they, themselves, do. Of course, they love this about her. But it is burning her out and has caused more-than-usual sick days and unexplained illnesses, not to mention the feelings of overwhelm she experiences every day in her work.

All of us likely have an over-use pattern associated with our strengths, whether it is becoming overly trapped by the emotions of others, being overly responsible in solving problems, over-thinking something, or acting too quickly. We are triggered unexpectedly by situations that invite us to draw on our strengths—but sometimes we act instinctively without considering the ramifications.

How do you know you are over-using a strength?

First, notice what it feels like when you do. Often, it starts out innocently. Our strengths kick in to solve a problem, or respond to a crisis. We put our heads down, dig our heels in, and start to move. Energy is high and it feels good. This is in part the gift in our strengths.

But more is not always better. The first piece of chocolate cake tastes amazing, but fifteen pieces later, you might start to feel kind of sick, and wish you had stopped sooner.

Using strengths is kind of like that.

If you are over-using your strengths, inevitably you will find yourself beginning to feel frustration, tension, and other negative emotions. You will find yourself more critical of others, less open to them, because you are increasingly trapped by your own strengths perspective. It can begin to have negative ramifications, and impact your ability to perform effectively, as well as relate positively to others. This tells you that you may have the volume control turned up a little too high on one or two of your strengths, and it is time to dial back just a bit.

That is when you have the power to choose. You can mentally reset the volume control, just a little lower. You might find a different strength to focus on, which also brings you energy—and automatically the over-used strength begins to soften, dial back, and slip back into balance. As you are increasingly tuned into yourself, you can become very adept at managing to use your strengths in balance with one another—rather than dialing up one strength or another and letting it play a grand solo.

Playing from a balanced set of strengths is like contributing to a grand symphony, where each strength raises its voice in harmony with the others to create a remarkable and beautiful outcome. That is so much better than one strength (or instrument!) playing solo.

Where are you overusing your strengths? What strength can you dial up to help you manage that overuse pattern?